The Incredible Jack-uv-all !!! 

  [music] [close up]
Dave:  Once... in a century... comes along a product... that does more than just  your                everyday household needs. The Incredible Jack-uv-all is one of those products.  No more waiting with its Time Machine, no more trapped food with its Can  Opener, no more cold underwear with its Microwave Oven, no more spoiled food  with its Fridge and Freezer, no more dying due to atomic bombs with its bomb  shelter, no more paying lots of money for expensive brand name products when  you can make them in your own Vietnamese Sweat Shop, no book reading with  its TV VCR and Computer, and for absolutly no reason a pet cemetary and  an Amazingly Spectacularaly Terrific Incredible Hot Air Balloon.
Bob:  Just look at this satisfied customer
Jacob: [nervous smile] [dave holds gun to his head saying "nice happy smile"]
David: What do you think of your Incredible Jack-uv-all?
Shane: Well, its very [camera shuts off]
David: What do you think of the Incredible Jack-uv-all??
Jee: [slowly] I like it very much [gun near head]
David: Now listen to what our celebrity spokesperson has to say.
Crystal: I highly recommend the [mouth keeps moving]
David: [off screen] Jack-uv-all!!
David: The Incredible Jack-uv-all comes at the very low price of  $952,370. To order call
           1-800-HOWDY-SUCKER, then you can pick it up at either of our 2 convienient             warehouse locations in either Krakow Poland or the Kowloon Penninsula in Hong Kong. Once you get it at our warehouse locations you have to pay $40,000 perday for however long it was at the warehouse from the day you reserved it plus 1700% tax and 435% tax after a 60% tax and a 120% tax. Or you can have The  Incredible Jack-uv-all delivered to your home for the same great price of  $952,370 plus 3200% tax and 425% tax after 355% tax and a  670% tax with a 65% tax and a 25% tax plus shipping and handling which is only $5,000 plus  80% tax and 230% tax with 35% tax, bubblewrap not included.
           Thats 1-800-HOWDY-SUCKER. But wait!! Call in the next 10 minutes and             recieve a free gift, the incredible people crusher for only $23,946 plus 85% tax and 232% tax and $350 for shipping and handling plus 555% tax after a 325%  tax.
Samantha: the Incredible People Crusher Changed my life... for the better  [hold up gravestone drawings]
Bob: This commercial is brought to you by the Krap Corporation.
Dave: COME AND BUY OUR KRAP
[credits on screen]
Dave: Written by Bobby and Gabe. Entirly re-written by Dave. Edited by Dave. Directed  by Dave. Produced by Dave & two other guys. Casting by Dave. Original idea by  Dave. Camera by Gabe. Ingredients, Our brains, hard work, dedication, isolation,  time, effort, sacrifice and many 6 packs.
 [next scene]
 The cast was, Host, Dave, Co-host, Bob, Extras were, Jacob, Jee, Shane, Crystal  and Samantha.
 [next scene]
 Dave thanks, himself for putting up with all the bull that bob and gabe put him  hrough. The Frenchy Puck, for a great season. Bev, for making me better than  veryone else at hockey. And Santa for that train he gave me when i was three.
 Bob thanks, His shoes, Hair gel, The riverman hockey team for the many laughs  hey made this season. And Gabe for being a doo doo head.
 Gabe thanks, gators gym, for making his muscles a tad larger than his bones.  Bobby for being a meat head. His mom, for driving him to the store for some pop.  The makers of Titanic, for killing DiCaprio.
 Dave will have his revenge on the following people, Dane, Joel and Daniel.
 THE END
 
 

Inventors:
                                                                     
BBob                                    Dave                                Gaberiel








to order using email to i_want_a_jack-uv-all_now@kill-land.freeservers.com